Athena's Mind

My post about speaking to your kids about sex has caught some attention.  Without really meaning to, I focused my post on the prevention of sexual abuse, through child education.  I submitted the post in a blog carnival – specifically the Carnival Against Child Abuse.  Check it out.

And speak to your kids about sex.

How?  Well, it really helps me discuss it, if I remember that my kids are a blank slate.  They don't know anything.  They don't have any hang-ups about sex.  There isn't any emotional connection to sex, in their brains.  So it's rather technical.  Insert tab A into slot B.  Okay, maybe not that technical.  But it's matter of fact.  My son hopped into the shower with me this morning (yes, we still shower with our kids) and he saw me washing.  He commented that he didn't know I washed my nipples.  I replied, sure – they're just like yours.  Then he wanted to know if, when I was nursing his sister (2+ years ago!), if she got soap in her mouth because I wash my nipples.  The answer of course was no, we rinse our bodies off after we wash them.  My point here – other than the fact that I clearly have clean nipples – is that kids don't know anything.  This is a fabulous opportunity for you to teach them.  Think about what you would like to know.  Think about how you would have liked your parents to handle these situations with you when you were younger.  What would you change?  What did your parents do that you think was right?  I know this isn't easy for everyone.  I'm rather surprised it comes so easily to me.  I had a rather promiscuous youth and I guess I wish that I had had someone to talk to about this stuff, when I was younger.  I wonder if I would have had the adventures I did, if I felt I could talk to my mother about sex stuff.

Get some help if you need it.  Find a close friend or a family member who feels comfortable talking about this and get some suggestions from them.  And don't be afraid to tell your child that you get embarassed speaking about body science.  It's a good opportunity to explain to them that some people can speak about this stuff easily and some people get embarassed and that just because you get embarassed, it doesn't mean you don't want to talk about it.  You don't want your kids seeing you stammering, getting all red-faced and coming to their own conclusion that they can't speak to you about this topic.  I think you'd rather have them know that you are uncomfortable but knowing that you still want to keep the lines of communication open with them.  And of course, these conversations are private.  Not secret.  Secret means you don't tell anyone, even your family.  Sex should be private – something you can talk about openly with family members but it's private.  You might not want your little ones running up to their grandparents and telling them that their mommy has a period.  Especially if it's your in-laws and you're the mom!

I should preface this post by telling you that I worked part-time at McDonald's from Grade 9 through to Grade 13 (back when they had Grade 13).  While attending high school, I worked my way up the food chain (total pun intended) from a regular crew member to trainer and eventually to a Swing Manager (part-time manager).  Nevertheless, I chose to shield my eldest child from the golden arches until he was 3.  And then, it was my in-laws who fed him that his first happy meal while we were in the hospital, giving birth to my youngest.  I'm not against eating McDonald's food.  My motto is really "Everything in moderation".

You may or may not have heard of Chew on This: Everything You Don't Want to Know about Fast Food by Eric Schlosser.  This book is not an attack on the fast food industry.  The best way to describe it is:"…Schlosser, along with co-author Charles Wilson, presents the fast-food industry to preteens, focusing on the aspects that will interest them most — the nonconformist teen entrepreneurs who founded the industry; the mistreatment of animals in slaughterhouses and employees in restaurants; the shocking effects too much fast food can have on growing bodies; and the impact of the industry on schools, communities, and the earth."

The book is written for the pre-teen audience, which I didn't realize until after I put it on hold at our local library.  I'm now about 2/3 of the way through it and feel the need to share some of the content with you.

One particular section discusses food additives; namely artificial colourings and flavourings.  The next bit is going to be loosely paraphrased from pages 121 and 122 of Chew on This (gotta give credit where it's due!).  Cochineal extract aka carmine aka carminic acid is derived from Dactylopius coccus costa.  Dactylopius coccus costa is a small bug found in Peru and the Canary Islands.  The female feeds on cactus pads and colour from the cactus concentrates in her body and her eggs.  Once the bugs are collected, they are dried and then ground into a colouring additive. Once these bugs are ground into carmine (70,000 bugs = 1 lb carmine), carmine is then used to make processed foods look pink, red or purple.  "Dannon strawberry yogurt gets is color from carmine, as do many candies, frozen fruit bars, fruit fillings, and Ocean Spray pink grapefruit juice drink."  As a result of this newfound information, you can bet your bippy that we read food labels much more carefully.  Any (and I mean ANY) item that lists "artifical colour" or "artificial flavour" is not purchased anymore.  Our son was a little bummed about the loss of yogurt tubes from our pantry but when I showed him a picture of the Dactylopius coccus costa and read how they're used, to him, he suddenly became okay with the change.

Other things that surprised me include the lengths to which companies will go to market their products to kids.  I mean, I've always known deep down that most commericals are geared towards getting kids to want their parents to buy stuff for them but this book presents marketing to kids in a pretty strong manner.  I didn't realize that lobby groups in DC actually work against legislation that would benefit our kids' health.  I didn't realize there was so much money in this industry.  I didn't realize the impact that large multinational fast food companies can have on farmers.  Think: potatoes.  Think: french fries.  Think: corporate farms driving mom and pop farms out of business.

There is a lot of information packed into this book and I find it to be presented in an easy-to-read, concise manner.  I expected a significant sized bibliography to be attached to this book and Schlosser doesn't disappoint.  30 pages of references complete this book.  If you've got a minute, I recommend you pick this up for yourself, or if you've got one, for your tween.