Archive for At Home, With Kids

Being a Stay At Home Goddess: The Darker Side

I love my children.  Thor and I made the conscious decision for me to quit work and stay home with our children.  You get one shot at this and we thought (and still do think) it was the right decision to make.

Having said that, there are some pitfalls to being a stay at home goddess.

  • No sick days.  I have a crappy head cold right now and all I want to do is dive into some decongestant and sleep it off for 12 hours.  That’s just not happening with a 4 year old here.
  • I think about food more than I want to.  I prepare approximately 3 meals a day, 7 days a week.  You do the math.  That’s not including snacks and trying to account for the fact that sometimes the offspring prepare their own breakfast.  Unless I don’t want cereal and milk all over the table and floor.  Then I prepare breakfast too.  I’m kidding (half-kidding anyway)! Thor Jr is an accomplished cereal/milk pourer.  Little Athena on the other hand, likes to coat the table in Raisin Bran.  According to her, it’s easier to pick out the raisins that way.  Smart cookie, that one is.
  • Isolation.  In our diverse neighbourhood, a majority of the stay at home caregivers are grandparents who don’t speak English.  Add that to the fact that once you have kids you become busy all the time and it’s hard for schedules to mesh with other goddesses’.

That’s all I can think of for now.  My sinuses are preventing brilliant thoughts from forming so this is as good as it gets today.

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Children’s Birthday Parties

It’s that time of the year when our jr god and goddess celebrate their birthdays.  We usually go all out for parties.  Last year Thor Jr. had a super hero party.  Everyone wore a costume (we had more Batmen than we knew what to do with) and the Riddler had kidnapped Green Lantern and left his hat behind with several clues (scavenger hunt).  The kids split into two teams and had to come together in the end to figure out where Green Lantern (Thor in a Green Lantern tshirt) was hidden.  It was loads of fun for all.  Oh yeah, we also played “pass the kryptonite” too.

The year before Thor Jr. had a pirate party.  The kids decorated their own treasure chests (shoe boxes covered with brown paper) and then they played “Pin the eyepatch on the pirate”.  After each activity/game, they were awarded pirate garb (bandanna, eye-patch and hook hand).  Thor had made a fabulous pirate map and after they had passed all their “pirate tests” we set up a treasure hunts for the kids.  The treasure went into their treasure boxes, of course.themap.jpgblogpost.JPG

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Just when you least expect it your 6 yr old asks you what “fucking” means….

In case you couldn’t tell from the title of this post, there’s a lot of profanity below.   Move along if you’re offended by this. 

Picture, if you will, an ordinary Wednesday afternoon.  It’s ordinary except there’s theme music from the Twilight Zone playing and the main characters can’t hear it.  You’ve just picked up your 6 year old son from school, returned home to gather hockey equipment and snacks for the kids and as you’re loading all of this stuff into the back of your van, your 6 year old son and 3 year old daughter climb into your van.  And then you hear it…”Mommy, what does fucking mean?”  Read the rest of this entry »

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Kiddy Humour

Thor Jr. has dubbed himself the King of Comedy in our house.  He has managed to create 2 original jokes that make adults laugh.

Why did the cow smack into the tree?
Because he was in a bad mooo-ooo-ed.

*Why did the computer sneeze?
Because he had a virus.

*Copyright disclaimer: I think I may have read this last one somewhere but since Thor Jr. hasn’t read any riddle/joke books lately (and if he did, he would need help reading them) and neither have I, we’re giving him full credit for creating this.

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There… and back…again.

Faithful readers may recall a trip Up North last March.  Well, the whole family packed up and headed Up North for Thanksgiving weekend. While this trip was vomit-free, it was not without it’s humourous moments. Read the rest of this entry »

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Apparently, Grade 1 is traumatic. Preschool? Not so much.

I’ve spent enough time in the school over the past week that the staff are beginning to know me by sight.  Part of the time that I’ve been there has been for volunteer purposes.  The other times?  For my son.  Apparently the transition into Grade 1 is not as smooth as I thought it would be .  We surpassed the “what to do for lunch dilemma” by choosing to have Thor Jr come home for lunch on Fridays.  All was well.  The worst, and hopefully last incident was earlier this week when I received a phone call.  Thor Jr. was extremely upset.  He had been crying steadily since recess.  By my watch that meant 45 minutes.  His only answer to “What’s wrong?” was “I miss my Mom”.  This has never happened before.  I went to see him at school.  Sure enough, he missed me.  Or so he says.  I suspect that when he’s 18, something will remind him of this day and he will burst forth with an explanation that we never would have figured out.  If he does that, that’s okay.  It’s genetic.  When I went to Kindergarten for the first day, I was terrified.  My teacher was all dressed in white.  I thought it was the dentist’s office and was scared shitless.  I was unable to convey this to my mother though, until I was about 18.  Suddenly my first day of Kindergarten hysterics made complete sense to her.  And so with this in mind, I understand that sometimes, children are unable to communicate their complete thoughts at the age of 5 or 6.  After many hugs, softly spoken words and a mail key to remind him of me (it was either that or my sock – I had left everything except my keys and cellphone at home), Thor Jr. was calm enough to return to class for the day.

Contrast this with Little Athena.  We went for a play date today and as we were leaving the house, she asked if I was staying at the play date or if I was volunteering at the school.  I said I was staying.  She asked me not to.  She asked me to please go and volunteer at the school and said she didn’t want me to go to the play date.  Did I mention she’s 3? Apparently preschool is not nearly as traumatic as Grade 1.  Who knew?

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Hockey Mom vs. Soccer Mom

Thor Jr. started Hockey this week.  He’s not in a league (Tangent: do you have any idea how much it costs to register your kid in hockey?  $500!  Holy hockey sticks batmom! And that doesn’t include equipment! /tangent), but we’ve signed him up for something called Tot Hockey which is supposed to teach him the fundamentals of hockey.  Then, next year we’ll bite the cash bullet and register him with the local league.

Thor Jr. had his first class this week.  It was my first experience with hockey equipment.  Specifically, strapping a 6 year old into all this equipment.  In a limited timeframe.  It took us 20+ minutes to get him undressed and then geared up.  Shoulder pads, shin pads, elbow pads, jock/cup, garters, pants, socks, skates, helmet – oh my!  And don’t forget the jersey!  It was at this point that I decided it was a heck of a lot easier to be a soccer mom than to be a hockey mom.  He did look great though!  And he stepped out on to the ice without a problem.  It’s been a few months since he’s been on skates so I wasn’t sure if he’d land on his butt within the first 2 strides or not.  He thoroughly enjoyed the session and can’t wait to go back next week.

Which brings us back to the equipment-strapping-in again.  And the fact that it’s easier to be a soccer mom and carry around a bag of soccer balls and pylons then it is to strap garters onto hockey socks.  Wait a sec – before you hit that comment button and inform me about the new jocks that have velcro to hook up hockey socks, yeah, we know about those.  But Thor thought we should go with the garters.  Too bad Thor isn’t there to strap Thor Jr into everything!  Next year (or 2 sessions from now, depending on how long I last with this) we’ll get him the jock/velcro/sock combo.  Of course, with all of this equipment comes a mother-honkin’-sized bag.  It’s the same size as the team bag for soccer.  Hats off to you Hockey Moms!   I don’t know how you do it. 

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