Excuse me while I vent some stress (tales of returning to school and other such stuff)

My daughter chose to cap off my son’s first day of Grade 1 by falling off her tricycle (yes, she had her helmet on, thank Maude).  Unlike her other falls, this one happened as she was riding across the road, onto the sidewalk and the curb was slightly raised.  I turned to help my son with his hoody and the next thing we heard was screaming. The bump from where the concrete met the asphalt was larger than normal and we were on a street going downhill so I guess she hit it too fast. She needs stitches in her chin.  She ended up having me use butterfly strips to tape the gash closed instead.  If it was my first child, I probably would have run home and rushed to the nearest clinic/docs office to get stitches.  This is my second child and so, I took into consideration a) the trauma that stitches would put dearest daughter through; b) the wait time to put all 3 of us through and; c) how deep the gash was.  And so we walked the rest of the way home with Big Brother carrying the tricycle (as well as his backpack and her helmet) and me carrying Little Athena in my arms with her head nested against my chest so that her chin was compressed in an attempt to stop the bleeding and her screaming all the way.  After said gash was closed up by me, she proceeded to bump it 2 more times this afternoon causing it to bleed all over the frickin place. *sigh* 

Word to the wise regarding helmets: Little Athena loves her helmet (a hand me down from Big Brother).  She was introduced to it while riding on the back of my bike in her bike seat.  When she got her tricycle, she immediately decided she needed to wear it while riding, just like we wear our helmets.  I frankly, would have thought that helmets weren’t necessary on tricycles.  Dearest Little Athena has proven me wrong.  She’s taken a lot of crazy turns on her bike and dropped it more than a handful of times.  So if anyone was wondering if they should put their tricycle-riding child into a helmet, I say hell yes!

Backing up a bit – First day of grade 1, you ask?  Yes.  The big guy had a great day.  He was pretty jazzed about it when I picked him up for lunch.  It turns out everyone in his class stays at school for lunch.  We had planned on him eating lunch at school too but then someone planted the seed in my brain that he should come home for lunch.  The question of whether or not to keep him at school for lunch has grown to stupendous (and I do mean “stupid”) proportions.  I can argue this both ways and still keep ending up without a decision.  I’ve asked his Grade 1 teacher what she thinks.  She says, keep him home; he needs the break.  I’ve asked his former Kindergarten teacher (who had him in her class for 2 years: JK and SK).  She says, keep him here; he needs all the outdoor exercise time so he can run around like crazy.  Bottom line: I brought him home today.  I’m sending him to school with lunch tomorrow.  Tomorrow night, I’m going to ask him what he wants to do.  I took him back to school today so that he still had 30 mins plus to run around like crazy so I know it’s possible to have him home for lunch and give him the exercise he needs to stay mentally focused in class.

This indecision about lunch is fueled by my return to school.  I’m headed back to campus (which apparently had 2 stabbings today, according to the news lead I just saw – WTF??) to finish an unfinished degree.  Hey, you can have the wisdom of a goddess without having a piece of paper.  I’ve been away for 12 years.  So, I’m nervous about returning.  And the fact that I’m returning leads me to my end career goal.  Said goal is GPA dependent and I’ve done a fair number of calculations recently which all lead me to the conclusion that I will not have the GPA I need for my goal.  So then I start to wander down the twisted mental back alley leading to this: What will you do when the kids are in school full time?  And the horror begins.

Lack of sleep.  Screwed up eating habits.  Lack of exercise because of fatigue (see: sleeping/eating issues). And so much more that you don’t need to know about.  It was always my intent to go back to work once the kids were in school full time – and just so you can see how screwed up this is – that time is 3 years from now.  I’ve tried explaining my stress to Mr. Athena.  It’s like the time he was laid off.  You wonder if anyone will hire you.  You wonder how marketable you are.  Well, I’ve gone through that off and on for 3 years now.  I had a good job before I stayed home.  I made a good buck.  I didn’t like my job.  I don’t want to do the same thing that I did.  Hence the return to school. Being a SAHM consists of many sacrifices.  One that I rarely (ever?) mention is the actual leaving of the workplace.  And fear of not being able to re-enter.  I know I can get a job.  I don’t know if I can resurrect my career.  And having said that I didn’t like where my career was going (is management a career?), do I want to resurrect it? 


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